Twelve inches of terror? Are you kidding? What makes a guy with nine inches at best insist he's got a foot-long cock? (http://www.jasoncurious.com/blackbook/julian.html). Millions of men, myself included, would love to be hung like this guy, so why the insecurity? Or maybe it's his publicist. Must be the same guy who insisted John Holmes' 10-inch dick was actually 14.

Great. It's the "Oh, my God!" dude again. He says it probably a hundred fucking times in this scene, and it's annoying as hell. He's also done it in two scenes with Cherokee. Shut the fuck up already. Alexis deserves better than this idiot.

Nothing says cheap, tawdry ho like a couple of shitty tramp stamps. They damn near turn my stomach. Give me Avy Scott or Harmony Rose instead, women who refuse to skankify themselves. Rule of thumb: if it's not something you'd proudly hang on your wall, don't have it permanently stenciled onto your body.

Hairy pussies rule! Only pedophiles like twats that look prepubescent.